Communicating Compliments

Every holiday season media outlets report positive stories about “random acts of kindness.” These heart-warming tales of generosity make you realize how easy it is to touch the life of people you don’t know. In communication, one of the simplest acts of kindness is giving a compliment to someone when they do an outstanding job. And yet, most of us never seem to give compliments to others who truly deserve them. The emotional disconnect between listening to a feel-good story at holiday time and our daily interaction with family, colleagues and strangers is truly an interpersonal communication mystery.

How difficult is it to tell someone at work, in the community or family that they did a good job or had a great idea? Evidently, it’s a nearly impossible communication feat for many Americans especially in the business world. Most people want to know they are doing a good job, but how often have you ever heard a compliment when you know you deserved one? People work harder and feel better about themselves and their working environment when someone tells them that they appreciate their hard work. A compliment is synonymous with “good job.” Let’s put compliment back into our vocabulary and make someone else’s day a warmer one.

Media Spin or Persuasion?

Wouldn’t it be great if students really remembered the lessons of listening and critical thinking? Perhaps the concept of “spin” needs to be added to the classroom discussion of persuasive techniques in addition to emphasizing the consequences of accepting statements as true prior to analyzing them for accuracy and hidden meaning. Spin surrounds us in culture, academia, religious speech, political speech, and advertising. Complex social issues require a thorough personal analysis before you choose to believe the statements delivered by others. You and you alone are legally responsible for your communication and actions. Spin is created to simplify complicated issues and connect emotionally with its intended audience. Take a look at the spin surrounding the new health care bill. This would be an excellent current event to examine with your class.

The pervasiveness of spin can alter how you feel about yourself, social issues and those around you. Critical thinking allows you to make reasoned judgments on any issue. But how many of your students look at the health care bill and make a reasoned judgment? And how many simply follow the spin of their own political party? Free speech and behavior are our legal right but personal speech and behavior needs to be shaped in a fair and rational manner.

Understanding the consequences of accepting spin as fact, rather than an element of persuasion, allow you to communicate professionally. Repeating the half-truths of spin are damaging to others and damaging to your credibility.

What is Teaching Leadership All About?

While talking to our colleague, Bia, the other day, we all wondered “When did the term leadership become a commodity like a box of cereal?” We judge a person’s leadership ability over a period of time and by watching their actions rather than through whether they have a college degree, professional seminar program or a certificate. Businesses, consultants, and universities seem to be manipulating the term for financial reasons rather than examining the personal qualities of their consuming audience. It’s as if holding a piece of paper stating you have leadership training makes you a leader.

Consumers are interested in quick fixes and success, but as teachers, we need to differentiate between learning about leadership and becoming an effective leader. A course of study does not replace hard work, knowledge, excellent communication skills, ethics and the ability to problem solve. Think about what leadership means and entails. How can you encourage your students to develop some of these qualities?

Nonverbal Respect

Respect is a word many people can define but somehow can’t quite manage to pull off in their personal conduct. When an individual is not exposed to a respectful upbringing, how can society expect that person to magically demonstrate respect with others? Respect is revealed in our word choices as we communicate as well as our nonverbal behavior.

The high school band director in Wellsboro, PA instills the meaning of respect in band members at every football game. The band remains standing throughout the performance of every visiting band. It is an amazing gesture of respect for the efforts other young people have taken to learn the music, and practice their routine plus the time and expense of coming to an away game. Although this may seem like a trivial observation of a respectful moment in a small town, it’s really an excellent teaching moment on the part of the band’s director.

But what about everyone else? Think about it. Parents and students alike are leaving the stands for a break, eating, laughing, wandering around just to move, chatting on cell phones or texting and even better--dozing. Meanwhile, the halftime show is simply “there.” You may find all kinds of excuses for the chaos in the stands at halftime, but let’s return to the first word of this blog—respect. In my little town, the band is a beacon of respect for the efforts of strangers shining brightly from a sea of the self-absorbed.

Reporting Language Differences in the Olympics Based on Gender

Sadly, the media still perpetuates gender stereotypes. As we watched the morning news Olympic coverage of Lindsay Vaughn and Julia Mancuso, it was unfortunately evident that the announcers were more interested in their “emotional states” than in their skiing abilities. The previous evening, Vaughn crashed during a ski run and Mancuso was stopped mid-run. Mancuso was extremely disappointed and the media caught her shedding some tears after her run was stopped. The next day the announcers were talking about how there was a “cat-fight” between the two skiers and things were “icy” between them rather than focusing on the disappointment each of them faced after years of training. Even Mancuso stated that she was frustrated with the media attention on their relationship rather than on the actual skiing. She posted on her Facebook page, “Save the drama for your mama.”

However, announcers covered a male athlete’s reaction in another sport differently. When Kramer lost his bid for Olympic gold due to an illegal lane change in speed skating, he also had an emotional reaction to his circumstances captured on camera. NBC reports on the website used very specific language, “kicked a lane divider in anger” and “an agitated Kramer took out his frustrations on his coach,” to describe his physical reaction to losing. No announcer said, “Kramer had a hissy fit after realizing the mistake.” No one talked about his tears or his "emotional state." His actions were reported in factual, rather than emotional language.

Additionally, during some of the NBC coverage of the women’s skiing, a female reporter continuously referred to the female athletes as “girls.” Not once did we hear a reporter refer to male athletes as “boys.”

Athletes perform at their physical best during Olympic competition. Why can’t announcers rise to the same level of excellence in their reporting?

Acquaintance vs. E-quaintance

The role of interpersonal communication in our society is changing as quickly as the population itself is shifting. For decades, interpersonal relationships have involved various senses such as sight, smell, and sound but that experience is evaporating as technology envelops the country. The generation of Americans under the age of 50 are comfortable sharing personal information with people they've never met except on a visual screen as they type/text the exchange. However, Americans over the age of 50 are still comfortable developing relationships with the physical presence of the other person(s). Our country is nearly evenly split culturally by those who enjoy the company of others and those who prefer to communicate with a key pad. One fact is certain, the above 50 age group is fading and the below 50 age group is advancing with technology to control the future.

Interpersonal communication models need major updating to include the digital age and how human interaction is changing. Hall's often quoted "social distance" theories are a thing of the past since private, public and group communication is currently completed on a handheld device. Obviously, we are in a transitional time where generations need to understand the comfort level of each other by using appropriate interpersonal communication to make a point. But, the baby boomers are retiring and the control of political, business, religious and social views will be in the hands of people who can manipulate language on the screen directly in the palm of your hand. Who are these E-quaintances? It's a great question to keep asking yourself as you evolve with virtual communication. --HPT

What’s in a Name?

I received an email from a student the other day to notify me of an absence. The email began, “Hello Sue.” I was a little taken aback since I had not invited students to call me by my first name, nor do we have a campus where that is common.

In a culture where students think anything goes, I feel it is my duty as a teacher to turn even small errors into a learning moment. I could have written something nasty. Or ignored it. I’ve heard of some professors who blow up when titles are used improperly. However, I chose to think there was no disrespect intended.

I simply replied with the following, “Thanks for letting me know about your absence. Just in case you aren’t aware, it is customary to address your professors by their titles unless they instruct you otherwise. –Dr. Young”

One more communication error corrected, three hundred million more to go. ---KSY

Start with Self

Our textbook uses an intrapersonal communication focus to assist students in understanding why they say the things they do as well as behave the way they do nonverbally. Recognizing how their fundamental nature inserts itself into interpersonal and group communication situations allows them to make better career choices. In addition, it helps them to accept responsibility for their actions.

Professional credibility is based on the concept that the individual can make excellent communication decisions in diverse settings. Students need to develop a desire to feel comfortable as they find themselves in these diverse cultural situations. By being comfortable with who they are and knowing how to adapt to new environments, students are more confident to confront the future enthusiastically. Global business needs young people who adapt quickly to change while retaining their "hometown" uniqueness. --HPT

Textbook Costs

Are you concerned about textbook prices? You should be! A $50 or $60 dollar difference per book for 15 credits can mean a $300 difference in student costs per semester. Most oral communication books cost around $100 each. Do you stop to consider cost as you select the books for your class?

Howard and I decided years ago that we wanted to bring an affordable text to our students that still contained all of the essential information for teaching Oral Communication. We were fortunate to find a publisher, Waveland Press, who has the same philosophy. You won’t find cartoons, color photos, infotrac packages or DVD’s in our book. These extra items inflate costs exponentially, and we find that we don’t use them and our students don’t either.

Oral Communication: Skills, Choices, and Consequences will provide you with everything you need to teach the essential communication concepts that students need to know. And at $22.95, your students will love the fact that you didn’t ask them to break the bank for a general education requirement.

Order your free review copy today and check us out.

Welcome!

Welcome to the blog for Oral Communication: Skills, Choices, and Consequences! If you are using our textbook, we thank you, and hope you have found yourself enjoying our writing style and inexpensive prices for students.

If you aren't using our text, this blog will be a place for you to get to know us and read about thoughts and ideas for enhancing the classroom for your oral communication class.

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