Communicating Compliments

Every holiday season media outlets report positive stories about “random acts of kindness.” These heart-warming tales of generosity make you realize how easy it is to touch the life of people you don’t know. In communication, one of the simplest acts of kindness is giving a compliment to someone when they do an outstanding job. And yet, most of us never seem to give compliments to others who truly deserve them. The emotional disconnect between listening to a feel-good story at holiday time and our daily interaction with family, colleagues and strangers is truly an interpersonal communication mystery.

How difficult is it to tell someone at work, in the community or family that they did a good job or had a great idea? Evidently, it’s a nearly impossible communication feat for many Americans especially in the business world. Most people want to know they are doing a good job, but how often have you ever heard a compliment when you know you deserved one? People work harder and feel better about themselves and their working environment when someone tells them that they appreciate their hard work. A compliment is synonymous with “good job.” Let’s put compliment back into our vocabulary and make someone else’s day a warmer one.

Media Spin or Persuasion?

Wouldn’t it be great if students really remembered the lessons of listening and critical thinking? Perhaps the concept of “spin” needs to be added to the classroom discussion of persuasive techniques in addition to emphasizing the consequences of accepting statements as true prior to analyzing them for accuracy and hidden meaning. Spin surrounds us in culture, academia, religious speech, political speech, and advertising. Complex social issues require a thorough personal analysis before you choose to believe the statements delivered by others. You and you alone are legally responsible for your communication and actions. Spin is created to simplify complicated issues and connect emotionally with its intended audience. Take a look at the spin surrounding the new health care bill. This would be an excellent current event to examine with your class.

The pervasiveness of spin can alter how you feel about yourself, social issues and those around you. Critical thinking allows you to make reasoned judgments on any issue. But how many of your students look at the health care bill and make a reasoned judgment? And how many simply follow the spin of their own political party? Free speech and behavior are our legal right but personal speech and behavior needs to be shaped in a fair and rational manner.

Understanding the consequences of accepting spin as fact, rather than an element of persuasion, allow you to communicate professionally. Repeating the half-truths of spin are damaging to others and damaging to your credibility.

What is Teaching Leadership All About?

While talking to our colleague, Bia, the other day, we all wondered “When did the term leadership become a commodity like a box of cereal?” We judge a person’s leadership ability over a period of time and by watching their actions rather than through whether they have a college degree, professional seminar program or a certificate. Businesses, consultants, and universities seem to be manipulating the term for financial reasons rather than examining the personal qualities of their consuming audience. It’s as if holding a piece of paper stating you have leadership training makes you a leader.

Consumers are interested in quick fixes and success, but as teachers, we need to differentiate between learning about leadership and becoming an effective leader. A course of study does not replace hard work, knowledge, excellent communication skills, ethics and the ability to problem solve. Think about what leadership means and entails. How can you encourage your students to develop some of these qualities?

Nonverbal Respect

Respect is a word many people can define but somehow can’t quite manage to pull off in their personal conduct. When an individual is not exposed to a respectful upbringing, how can society expect that person to magically demonstrate respect with others? Respect is revealed in our word choices as we communicate as well as our nonverbal behavior.

The high school band director in Wellsboro, PA instills the meaning of respect in band members at every football game. The band remains standing throughout the performance of every visiting band. It is an amazing gesture of respect for the efforts other young people have taken to learn the music, and practice their routine plus the time and expense of coming to an away game. Although this may seem like a trivial observation of a respectful moment in a small town, it’s really an excellent teaching moment on the part of the band’s director.

But what about everyone else? Think about it. Parents and students alike are leaving the stands for a break, eating, laughing, wandering around just to move, chatting on cell phones or texting and even better--dozing. Meanwhile, the halftime show is simply “there.” You may find all kinds of excuses for the chaos in the stands at halftime, but let’s return to the first word of this blog—respect. In my little town, the band is a beacon of respect for the efforts of strangers shining brightly from a sea of the self-absorbed.